Someone should write a blog entitled “How to Date in Your 30s (and Beyond) and Not End Up Hating Men”. I would write it but, I haven’t figured that out yet.
I am joking (sort of). Being married is hard. So is being single. I have profiles on various dating sites (Call it research). This morning I saw a guy who looked familiar. I clicked the profile and, what do you know? I know his wife. She is an attorney in town and they’ve been married over 20 years. Eww. I see profiles of men with completely profane profile names. Eww. Guys make initial contact with things like “You’re hot” and much, much worse. I don’t see the women’s profiles. So, I can’t really speak to them. Although, I know there are women on the sites with half-naked pictures of themselves – totally leading with the sex angle and then wondering why they never get past one night stands.
It isn’t just online dating either. It is sometimes strange being the only single girl amongst a bunch of married people. It is not uncommon at all for a married man to overstep the bounds. Are people really so insecure they need constant attention from the opposite sex? Is this insecurity so pervasive they’ll ignore vows and even just basic good manners?
This all leads me to the conclusion that we need some help. There is an overabundance of dysfunction in the relationship world. I believe the dysfunction we find in our marriage, our relationships, our families, or our dating lives is directly related to the dysfunction we experience in our heads. Sometimes we need therapy. But, sometimes we just need to talk about it. Share what we’re thinking and how we experience the world.
What if our relationships could be an extension of our healthy lives? What if we talked openly about the good, bad and ugly. (that sounds like my last three dates) People are ashamed to share their dating stories. I understand why. It is a reflection. Even those of us who are relatively sane in our professional and home lives can act like crazy people in our dating lives. It is the strangest, most interesting phenomenon.
Let’s explore and go Dating With Joy.